I had this case last month and I felt the need to educate young couples about this topic.
Nilesh and Deepti were newly-weds. While Nilesh worked in an IT company, Deepti was a college graduate.
As happens everywhere both had the expectations from each other at emotional, physical and sexual level. Something was wrong between them and they came to my clinic for consultation.
While indulging in sexual activities, Nilesh had expectations of only oral sex; whereas Deepti always denied it.
Oral sex has recently emerged as a "must have" and "most pleasurable act" in sexual episode.
When I consulted Deepti I came to know she was having some assumptions, misconceptions and also curiosity about this act.
"It’s not that I don't want to do it doctor but I don’t know what pulls me back.." said Deepti.
"Deepti, you can ask your concern openly and precisely. If you do not want to get into it, its fine, I can counsel Nilesh."
"Sex is a divine act performed for both of your pleasure. No partner has the right to dictate his or her expectations on the other.." I said.
"No Sir, May be I want it, but.." Deepti was suddenly silent.
"Ok, you have some queries about this? Please ask freely.." I said.
"Is it done by every couple.. I mean is it normal or its just shown in films..?" - Deepti
"Yes Deepti, it’s done by every couple who find pleasure in it, they do it without any compulsion on each other. It’s not just an act shown only in films. This act is practiced all over the world where couples agree to each other for it." - I said.
“Does it have any chance of infection?" - Next question from Deepti.
"Yes it has some chance of infection but if proper hygiene of genitals is maintained such infections can be definitely avoided" - I said.
"And what about pregnancy, I mean by...?" She suddenly stopped, took her time, gathered all her power and asked "I mean by swallowing his semen will I be pregnant?"
I was expecting this question as I know from years of practice most women carry fears of unwanted pregnancy.
"No Deepti, for pregnancy male sperms have to meet female eggs. In oral sex there is no such process happening. So there is no chance of pregnancy." I cleared this last doubt and noticed that Deepti had a sign of relief.
I consulted Nilesh also and advised him the following things -
- Never force a partner in sexual act just for your pleasure
- Always maintain good genital hygiene
- Always trim the hair in pubic areas
- Never force to swallow the semen as some girls do not like it
- It's a fact that sex organs secrete and also that a man urinates and ejaculates from same point, only maintaining a good hygiene can ensure the act is enjoyable.
- Always respect your partner's views during sexual acts and understand she is also a human being and she may have her own likes and dislikes.
Both of them left my cabin happily.